Toddlers have little ability to control impulses. Work on predicting consequences, through natural consequences, and re-establishing set rules. At first, behavior management can be challenging for everyone involved. After some time of setting up consequences and sticking to certain rules/tips you will start to notice that all your hard work and repetition is paying off.  

Babyproof your House:

As simple as it may sound, babyproofing keeps your toddler safe and reduces frustration for everyone. It´s also a lot less work than taking him away from dangerous or harmful items over and over again! 

Practice Prevention:

If something is forbidden, don´t let him do it. That way your child doesn´t even have the chance to break the rule. For example, If you can see that he is about to jump from the couch or stand up on a chair, sit him down next to you while reminding him that 'We need to sit on the couch or chair'. Or if you see your toddler throwing blocks and not stopping after being reminded once, don´t bother repeating yourself. You need to take those blocks away or use Time Out as a method of calming him down.

Communicate simple:

Get down to your child’s level and make eye contact. Speak clearly, calm and simple while giving positive instructions. Complicated sentences and negative constructions are hard for toddlers to understand. So instead of saying 'No running in the kitchen' say 'We walk in the kitchen'. Click here for more examples on Power Phrases- giving a positive with your negative when disciplining.

Appreciate him being good:

Toddlers seem to crave their parent’s approval so constant criticism can be discouraging. For example; if you tell your child that you appreciate how he shares his toys with friends, he will feel proud and will want to do it again.

Offer choices approved by you:

Your toddler might be fussy when it comes to baths or showers, but will bathe if you let him pick which bath toys to play with. For the shower, we have some different animal shaped sponges that our son can choose from. Small choices can turn unwillingness into co operation.

Make it a game:

Discipline doesn’t have to be unpleasant. For example, turn clean up time in to fun singing time, that way he can stay patient while being focused on putting his toys away.

Set a good example:

Toddlers imitate us, that’s one aspect of how they learn, so behave the way you expect your child to behave.

I’ve been using time-out for several months now. It works well for my son. One day, at my wit’s end, when my child was throwing toys, screaming as loud as possible and walking over books, I used a playpen in the corner of the room. When my son finished, I climbed out of the playpen.

Honestly, and on a more serious note, we all lose it in some way. Whether just being impatient or a real temper, time-out can be affective for everyone. I put my child in time-out but I’ve also put my husband and myself in time-out. It’s a break from an angering (or what could be angering) situation, giving that person time to regain control and reflect. Friends have commented, “but your child doesn’t seemed bothered by time-out”. That’s fine…I’m not trying to get him bothered, angry or crying, I’m trying to help re-center, calm him, and give him time for reflection.

My husband and I call time out on each other and time out has not only helped with my child but with my marriage. We each have our special place for time out such as the enclosed porch swing, corner of the room, or a certain bed. I also like the fact that my husband and I can model time out for our child. Don’t we all wish; instead of saying those hurtful words, being sarcastic, yelling, or even avoiding (which can be passive aggressive), that we had taken a time-out and calmed down, finding a happy and loving place again?

Stand firm

Don´t we all hate conflict? However, if you don´t stick to the rules and consequences that you have set up, your kids aren´t likely to either.

Pick your battles

Give the small situations, small attention, and the bigger situations, big attention. You will be happier and calmer. Your child will be happier, calmer and better behaved.

Communication

Try to practice good feeling discipline. Give positive attention, praise rather than words which are negative and punishing. Try to focus on the behaviour that you want to see from your child. The words you are using, should discipline your child while also making your child feel treasured through positive instruction.

Set clear rules and expectations

Some carefully selected rules can make a family´s life a lot smoother and easier. For example "no crackers" before dinner prevents regular arguments about snacking before dinner.

Provide unconditional love

Yes, this is the simplest of them all, but children need to know you love them, every day, even when they have done something bad.

Don’t do bribery! Set plans into motion and follow through offering to do something fun afterwards. When you have a plan, you also have set consequences for actions. Don’t make decisions in the heat of the moment. You can respond rather than react when you know your consequences for certain actions. Also, Let your yes be yes and your no be no…think through answers before giving them. (Matthew 5:37)

Natural Consequences can look like:

1. Give child a plan then they can have good fun
2. “We are going to go inside the store and buy food. I need you to sit in the cart then we will go home, put the food away and do a puzzle together.”
3. “Clean your room and we can go to the park”
4. “Don’t run, use your inside voice and respect the books at the library and you can check out books”

Several weeks ago, my 18 month yr old was on a morning quest of some sort? He had decided to throw every toy he owned. I got down to his eye level and set up a natural consequence: mom was going to go into the living room and read (doing this to keep my cool/calm). If he stopped throwing, and put his toys back, then he could also come into the living room and mom would read to him. I then sat down and started to read, ignoring his misbehavior and tantrums, while he proceeded to take out everything; he could get his hands on, from all the lower level kitchen cabinets such as magazines, pot/pans, plastic ware, table covers, napkins, old baby kitchenware (neatly organized and stored), coolers, and roasters.

* I had moved to the kitchen to read, because we don’t actually allow our child in their unsupervised for safety reason….as we believe no kitchen is ever made completely child proof.

I still ignored his tantrum and the kitchen looked like a tornado, level 5, had hit. After awhile, he came to me. He told me that he wanted to read. I reminded him of the natural consequence: pointed out the mess he had made and only after putting everything back would mom give her attention to him. It was such a mess, I thought there would be no way he would actually be able to put everything back. However, I was a stubborn child and now a stubborn parent.

He went back to his mess, surveyed his tornado and came back to me whining and pulling at me for attention. I repeated the natural consequence: if you put everything back and stop throwing then mom will read to you. Then I actually couldn’t believe my eyes. He had indeed put everything back and had come over to me, smiling and saying; back, read. I was really shocked. If you had seen how much had been on the floor and then put back, you also would have been amazed. So we went into the living room, sat down on a chair together and read. Our day was off to a better start.

Discipline is rewarding for everyone!!!